|Mailing a letter? Be thorough, be smart|
but most of all, be quick
In a move that the Post Office says has nothing to do with the Fleeting stamp announcement, all mailboxes will be relocated by September 2014 to a minimum 2,000 feet from any post office, street intersection or place of human habitation. As well, due to global warming, all mailboxes will be raised a minimum eight feet off the ground.
To make up for years of free-wheeling, fiscal foolishness, the Post Office will now require any money owed due to incorrect postage to be paid back in blood - and not the fake stuff, either. Each post office will soon be equipped with knives, gauze pads and hospital bed pans for the collection and storage of what is anticipated to become a "money in the bank" side line for the Post Office. Larger post office centers will also be equipped with leeches for those that owe less than a dollar. A doctor's note won't help.
|Example of stamp used 8.5 hours after purchase.|
So to supper, and thence after prayers to bed.
- Samuel Pepys (23 February 1633 - 26 May 1703)