At ease. Have you ever stood buck naked in front of your tub, ready to take the plunge, only to know deep down in your gut that your bubble bath just isn't up to snuff? Is your tub smelling of some Martha Stewart floral arrangement? Are your bubbles popping under the slightest friendly fire? Do you find yourself rubbing your skin raw just because the cleaning power of your bubble bath is only fit for civilians that couldn't tell the difference between an M-17 and a Kalashnikov? We feel for you, sister.
|I love my Colonel Frank's Bubble Bath|
Soap so much, I'm thinking of enlisting!
That's why Colonel Frank's Military Strength Bubble Bath Soap is just what you need. Just one ounce added to your bath, whether at home, catching a little R&R south of the border or out on look out, you'll see, smell and feel the difference just as soon as you dip your big toe into that gorgeous pool of liquid nirvana. Close your eyes and just smell the built in aroma of burning gun powder wafting from the bath. Then, once immersed, feel the soap bubbles, each and every regulation size 22 mm diameter bubble guaranteed to last the life of your bath... even if you're one of those who lies there hour after hour listening to Otis Redding on your ipod.
And don't forget. No ring around the tub when you're keeping company with Colonel Frank. The Colonel's exclusive "take no prisoners" cleansing action reconnoiters, surrounds, and practically nukes each and every grease ball, unaccounted for pubic hair and oily drop of sweat that a soldier like you can produce either out in the field or back on base.
So take advantage of this special offer right now. Drop your weapon, salute the sarge and put out a Mayday for Colonel Frank's Military Strength Bubble Bath Soap. It's what America needs. It's where you want to be.
|Colonel Frank's Bubble Bath Soap is|
also a favorite with the K-9 Corps.
And, if you order in the next 10 minutes supplying your name, rank, sharp shooter awards, and an 8 X 10 colored glossy of yourself ready to take the plunge, Ginger may just decide to come over and fix that first bath for you.
FDA RED LABEL WARNING: Ingestion of Colonel Franks's Military Strength Bubble Bath Soap bubbles may trigger the lethal form of constipation previously only found in wombats, constipationis maximus. There is no cure and do not bother to call Poison Control. Get your affairs in order and take your best outfit to the dry cleaners right now.