Friday, September 6, 2019


Clarifying his position on immigration to White House reporters, President Trump offered the following correction. Note: In the interest of brevity and sanity his response has been edited.

"First, let's go back to my spectacular presidential run in 2016. I never said that I would build a long, high wall between the United States and Mexico. The Mexican people love me. The press only heard what they wanted to hear. They're not very good listeners.What I said was that I would build a mall. A mall, not a wall.The largest, longest, most gorgeous shopping mall in the world. It would sit right between the United States and Mexico, straddling the entire length of the border, all 1,954 miles of it. How beautiful would that be? To have every imaginable high end retail store offering their goods and services to every immigrant, tourista and day tripper making their way between fantastic Mexicali and my country. The economic value would just be tremendous. And it would be a great humanitarian gesture. 
You know, I'm thinking of asking the Nobel Peace Prize Committee if they would like to hold their award ceremony in Trump Towers in perpetuity. There are lots of rooms and when you're up in the Penthouse it's very peaceful".

"Picture this everybody. No more scorching walks through the desert and no more hungry and thirsty immigrants. Instead, I would place a Trump Gourmet Food Court every mile within the mall, an L.L. Bean every two miles offering all those hard to find size 5.5 extra wide Vibram soled hiking boots and, of course, a diaper dressing station every 3,000 feet to take care of all the little ones. We certainly want their bottoms clean and fresh as they make their way through Trump National Mall before coming into the United States."

"And believe me. In just two years you won't be able to tell the difference between the US-Canadian border and the US-Mexican border. And speaking of Canada, I'm thinking of buying Montreal. I love French food, don't you? And it's quite simple. For the City of Montreal we'll give them $6.4 billion, Detroit and a small mountain range to be named later. It's the best offer they are going to get."

No comments:

Post a Comment