|Untouched Photo of Man|
Using the ChadScope and
Seeing Himself From the Back
Chaz Carmichael, local optician with 2 convenient locations, has told Goat Soup Radio that he has created a new, improved type of binoculars. So called "ChazScopes", these super charged binoculars will allow a person on a clear day (without celestial obstructions) to see clear across the universe and back around again. Toiling for years in anonymity in his basement, living on garbanzo beans and drinking clear, colorless liquids, Dr. Carmichael (not an M.D., but so what?) gave wings to his invention.
In an exclusive conversation with GSR just before closing time at Sally’s Roadhouse Cantina on East Jackson Street, Dr. Carmichael spoke with this reporter. Initially hesitant, it wasn't until “last call” when this reporter’s date mentioned that she might have some difficulty finding her car. Lifting his head up from the bar and holding two shot glasses up to his eyes, Dr. Carmichael introduced himself and proceeded to tell the story of his marvelous invention, the ChazScope.
|Diagram Of ChazScope|
Optics From Sally's Roadhouse
Editor's Note: Dr. Carmichael arrived at Sally's but sans the ChadScope. However, he says he is working to turn old eyeglass cases into miniature home defibrillators. Lee Ryman also made it to Sally's. However, his date left word she would be visiting a sick friend and that he should seriously consider therapy.
Editor's Editor's Note: Due to a recent court order, GSR is not at liberty to speak about Dr. Carmichael's you-know-what anymore. All we can say is that his you-know-what was confiscated by government agents without even an IOU.