Monday, June 16, 2014


Yorba Linda. California. 3:45 PM. It appears to be axiomatic in American politics that you can never count Richard Nixon out. In a surprise move that has stunned even his closest supporters, former President of the United States, Richard Milhous Nixon, 101 this year, has once again stepped into the limelight to claim his position on the world stage.
Standing precariously in front of the steps of the Nixon library in Yorba Linda, California, a formerly disgraced ex-president gave a rousing, moving speech explaining his reasons for being so much out of the spotlight these many years and why he has now decided to throw his hat back into the political ring.
Richard Milhous Nixon: Ready For Another Run

 "I've been living the quiet life of a retired family man. Playing with my many grandchildren, reading them stories of brave knights and heroic journeys. I've now come to realize, however, that there is still more of Richard Milhous Nixon to offer. It was time to bring Pat back to the White House and time to bring order and integrity back to America."

  Immediately following Nixon's remarks the White House issued the following statement: "President Obama has always applauded Americans looking to exercise their political chops and he wishes the former president, although quite dead, all the best."

It may not, however, be all peaches and cream for Mr. Nixon. Although the ex-president hinted that he would consider bringing back certain senior staff members including H.R. Haldeman and John Ehrlichman, most have since moved on with their lives, found new work or just haven't been heard from in more than 20 years.
GSR's own legal scholar, Diana Singer, who has extensively studied dead ex-presidents who wish to run for office had this to say: "First, if he does win, according to postal service rules, he'd have to go out and find every single Nixon postage stamp that was ever issued, licked or not, and return it to the post office. Second, his obvious opponent, Hilary Clinton, having worked on the Watergate Committee, might prove to be a tough broad to debate. And third, he will definitely have to pull votes across party lines; the blue states, the red states and of course, the dead states."

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