Sunday, November 9, 2014


Trading on the success of ride sharing services such as Uber, Lyft and Gett, Carrymeplease seems to be the new "it" tech company. Beginning on October 15, 2013 with Carrymeplease's founder Dorothy Nematoda taking foreign rights legal adviser Mike Dresser piggyback from his desk to his wastebasket, a new mode of social transportation was born.

Mike and Dorothy reenact
the company's first ride.
"I have to admit, we had our fingers crossed," said Mrs. Nematoda."When Mike used our app asking me to become his Piggy Wiggy driver and deliver him from his home base to his wastebasket, you could hear a pin drop. But, I took a deep breath, walked directly over to him, went into receptacle position number one and in just a heart beat there he was, transported from home base to wastebasket, efficiently and securely."

Asked for his own memories of that special day, Mr. Dresser replied, "I was amazed. She came up in front of me so quickly. Once she got into position, I knew it was my time to take the next step. I focused as hard as I could and I guess I jumped on her back, I really don't remember much after that. The next thing I know I was standing in front of my wastebasket and everyone was cheering. I was so thrilled to be there and to be a part of Dorothy's 20 year dream, I found myself crying, laughing and peeing, all at the same time. It was so emotional."

Currently. there are three cities involved with the Carrymeplease beta version: Hest, Arkansas, West, Florida and Chest, Maine. To become mankind's first choice in locomotion, these three towns and cities had to meet or exceed six very specific parameters:
  1. Towns and cities (hereafter T&C's - I don't have all day, here) where at least 12% of the population leave their bedroom at least once per day.
  2. T&C's where 25% of the population don't mind bending over once in a while.
  3. T&C's where people are getting tired of cars, taxis, bicycles, buses, trains, airplanes, nuclear powered submarines, sleds pulled by reindeer and of course, walking, running, skipping or hopping.
  4. T&C's who's name rhymes with breast.
  5. T&C's where people have to get from Point A to Point B, enjoy breathing clean, fresh air, don't mind wrapping their legs around strangers and don't mind eyeing the occasional butt crack.
  6. T&C's no greater than .0057 square miles in area.
Carrymeplease now makes it so convenient for anyone to get anywhere. With it's newly patented Wave Technology you'll find yourself with an eager and willing Piggy Wiggy bent over outside your door in just minutes. Just download our free app and get in gear!
With our new Wave Technology even
little Lulu can quickly snag a ride.

Now, with $4 million dollar in angel investing to play with (after all, this is all made up while I'm waiting for my Meatballs and Mozzarella Hot Pockets to warm up), Carrymeplease is ready for the next challenge.

"I don't see why this very simple but very effective mode of transportation can't be NASA's answer for landing astronauts on Mars," said Peter Notfunnyenough, Carrymeplease chief engineer and absolute lunatic. "Our studies show that the amount of forward inertia generated by that initial jump is at least 300 times more powerful than popping the cap on a bottle of artisan beer. Multiply that by our estimated user base in the year 2145 and Mars is just around the corner."


It is estimated that each day in the United States someone goes somewhere every 5 seconds! Why put yourself in a vehicle when you can put yourself on a vehicle? If you live anywhere within the sound of my squeaky shoes, you can't pass up this opportunity. Catching a ride with a Carrymeplease PiggyWiggy will save you time, money and gas.

Or...are you interested in becoming a Carrymeplease Piggy Wiggy and make a guaranteed $5000 per month in your spare time (once you leave your chiropractor's office each day)? Text us with height, weight, date of birth and the last nine digits of your social security number and join our team today!

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