Monday, August 5, 2013


Faced with continued Republican Party opposition for President Obama's health care initiatives (Obamacare), the White House said today that they will be reviewing and making immediate changes in Obamacare "from top to bottom".

White House gender free spokesperson, Esther Lester, told reporters that everything is on the table. When it soon became clear that the table was really a chair, Esther retracted the stupid metaphor and went back to looking for Michelle's cell phone.

Ohmamacare now covers most
hair conditioner products

Later that day, after finding Michelle's cell phone in the pants she wore yesterday, White House
health care coordinator, Yersinia Pestis, made the following historic announcement. "Always looking to make national policy more palatable for the American people, Obamacare will now be called Ohmamacare. We feel that this description is certainly warmer and more family friendly. Studies show that when an individual, especially a red neck, ultra conservative, gun toting, bare footed, road kill eating, moonshine drinking, banjo playing,  trailer park living, teeth missing. pick up truck driving, fifth grade educated, long bearded, hand me down clothes wearing wahoo, hears the word 'mama', he will support it like a couple of Victoria Secret bra straps support a nice pair of honkers. Ohmamacare will be the watchword for the coming century."

Miss Pestis took a deep breath and then continued. "One of the stronger criticisms of Obamacare was the feeling that young people would not purchase the required insurance because they simply did not feel the need to. Now that their mama is telling them to sign up, we are confident that most will. As well, many small businesses were concerned about having to insure their workers and that it would cost them too much to do so. Again, can you imagine 12 angry mama's going down to Any Small Business, USA and demanding all their kids be insured? It's a no brainer. The Republicans may have control of the House of Representatives but we've got their mama's."

With the McCoy's now covered
under Ohmamacare,
their worries are a thing of the past.

To drill deeper into this important issue, Goat Soup Radio spoke with Crazy Elise, director of health and pick up sticks policy at the IIIIIII (I'm Ironically Interested In Insurance Issues Institute). A think tank located in the back of Armando's Sub Shop  in Washington, DC,  Dr. Elise supplied the following observation. "When I was a little nip, I liked to fart. I remember I used to make my mama laugh her bleeding head off every time I would let one go during church on Sunday morning. Well, the same can be said for Ohmamacare. Sometimes you just have to raise up a cheek and blast one."

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