Monday, August 26, 2013


Article 5, Section 6 of the U.S. Constitution requires that all states renew their official statehood every 41 years from the day of their admission to the United States. A simple, one page renewal form signed by the acting governor with 25 additional signatures by "true and sober male citizens", together with either a certified check for $350.00 or 40 head of cattle is all that is needed. However, what was merely a formality all these years, with each state renewing their statehood on time, has proven an embarrassment for Idaho. Editors Note: Historians tell us that Thomas Jefferson picked the number 41 which was the number of wigs he owned.
Saturday morning food
shopping in the Territory

"I thought the lieutenant governor sent it out and the lieutenant governor thought that I sent it out," said Clement Leroy "Butch" Otter, Idaho's 32nd governor.  "We'll put the appropriate papers in but you know how the federal government works," he added. GSR has learned that it will be at least 120 days before the papers can be fact checked and then sent to the floor of Congress for a vote. In the mean time, Idaho will will revert back to territory status until then.

As a public service, GSR has put together some of the changes in store for Idaho as it becomes, once again, a territory of the United States.

  1. Those caught cattle rustling will be shot on sight.
  2. All state owned lands will be available for homesteading. You must live on the land for 6 months, raise cows and make your home available as a station for the Pony Express.
  3. All barbers will now be allowed to practice medicine.
  4. Undertakers must wear long, black coats.
  5.  The minimum drinking age will be 12 years old.
  6. If you must smoke you have to roll your own.
  7. All males over the age of 14 must pack a 6-shooter.
  8. Showering will be outlawed and baths will be taken on Tuesdays.
  9. Failure to tie up your horse in town securely will result in a night in the slammer.
  10. Indian raids will take place the second Friday of every month.
  11. Blacksmiths will now be required to be open 7 days per week. Chickens will be an accepted form of currency.
  12. All counties must have at least one cantankerous "hanging" judge with a drinking problem.
  13. Those traveling by stage coach will be required to carry a concealed pocket derringer. As well, due to FDA regulations, hand sanitizing stations will be required on all stage coaches.
  14. All women over the age of 15 will be required to wear incredibly tight corsets and have terrific singing voices.
  15. All Home Depots in Idaho will now be required to stock tumbleweed in their gardening sections.
  16. All Starbucks in Idaho will only offer thick, black coffee from tin cups. If you want wi-fi, go to Wyoming.
"We lost our statehood, but we
still have each other"
The Founding Fathers even provided what should happen if a state becomes a territory and then fails to petition Congress to get their statehood back within 3 years.
Article 5 section 7 of the Constitution says that such territory would subsequently be given back to the Indians in perpetuity. Wouldn't that be something?

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