|One day we're working at The Gap, the |
next, we're insured and in the Navy.
Vice Admiral John Paul Jones XVII released the following statement. "Recruitment has been slow and we were offering two weeks free vacation in Cabo, Mexico for every new enlistee. But now, with enlistment tied to Obamacare, our sails are full and it's full speed ahead. Hell, we've now got more sailors than Carnival Cruise has deck chairs."
Thursday, CMS Director Kathleen Sebelius told Goat Soup Radio, "It is imperative that you report for Navy duty if you are asked to do so. We need to keep the website fully operational and if people don't report for duty, the computer system might just crash again. To make amends, all those who fulfill their four year stint in the Navy will receive, at no charge, one pair of orthopedic shoes from a podiatrist of their choice.
GSR spoke to Flora Dora, a 58 year old retired muffler saleswoman who was successful in signing up for her new health insurance. "I was pleased as punch that I wouldn't have to worry about the future now that I was insured. But then I got this letter from The Department of the Navy telling me to report to Gunnery School in Pensacola, Florida on December 15. I was so upset that I called my son-in-law, Randy, who is a lawyer. But he also signed up for Obamacare and had already left for Navy Seal Training School in Minerva, Washington. He's 45 and he's only got one good eye."
|Flora Dora makes the best of it in the Navy.|
|Randy, now a Navy Seal.|
For a more historical perspective, GSR traveled to The Old Sailor's Home in Norfolk, Virginia and spoke with 83 year old retired seaman, Popeye The Sailor. "It just don't seem right, not to join the Navy. Even my girl, Olive Oyl, may she rest in peace, wanted Swee'Pee to join when he gets older. Anyway, you got computer problems? I don't know what a computer is, but just gimme a couple cans of real spinach, not the soupy creamed spinach they serve in here, and me and Bluto will fix it faster than you can say, kiss my goat soup radio tattoo."