Saturday, August 15, 2015


A bedtime story.

It's been a difficult couple of months for Hillary Clinton. Despite all the plans, the big donations and the palpable groundswell for a female president, her time as Secretary of State while using her personal email account for both private and State Department communications has created many questions as to whether confidential State Department information has been compromised.

Over 30,000 such emails have been handed over to investigators by Mrs. Clinton. However, federal investigators are still seeking more. Sources say sixteen stalwart sneaky cyber sleuths in the FBI and the State Department's Inspector General Office had been seeking access to Hillary's private servers to once and for all find out what she knew, who she talked to and over what lines of communication she did it on.

Esther Lester being taken to an  
undisclosed location. Is this the end of 
Pax Americana?
Finally, with warrants in hand, investigators entered the private compound of Hillary and Bill Clinton on August 7, 2015 in Chappaquiddick, New York and whisked away the entire serving staff. Namely; Elizabeth McGregor, 46, soup, appetizer and continuous napkin folder, Richard McDonald, 54, starch, veggie server and reluctant food taster and Esther Lester, 68, main course, dessert and lighter of disgusting after dinner cigars.

EDITOR'S NOTE: Yes we know they live in Chapaaqua, but who the hell can spell it? The spell check (we swear) only offered us Chappaquiddick. There's a strange moral here, somewhere. With the exception of spell check (after all, we're not animals), our policy is never to search the internet for information. If it wasn't in the required reading list for our high school equivalency diplomas, it doesn't exist. Never did, never will.

Our story continues.
Untouched were two upstairs maids, the butler of the foyer and (Bill's favorite) the lithesome but stern, Olga MacFarland, 25, drawer of baths, hander of warm towels and all around fun server to be with on a rainy afternoon with no speeches to give or slimy deals to be made.

"She don't know nothin', chief".
Taken to an undisclosed location behind Starbucks on 3rd and 59th in Manhattan, the three food servers were denied access to  lawyers, lunch and ladles. Then, failing to follow even the most basic of international laws against torture, dinner was served buffet style. Alas, this was almost too much for our little band of indentured servants to bear. Too many of their brothers and sisters had lost their food service jobs with that simple word, buffet (naturally, French in origin).

For 40 days and 40 nights, if you can believe Entertainment Tonight Jerusalem, the meanest, baddest, smelliest men in the FBI tried to get McGregor, McDonald and Lester to come up with the goods on the most honest, sincere, loyal, truly funny, hardest working,
Now that Hillary won't be wearing
orange anytime soon, VP Biden
considers whether to run for
warmhearted Democratic female contender for the presidential race, but they wouldn't budge. Taking the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th Amendments they were eventually let go.Thrown out of the back of a moving van on the Major Deegan Expressway, the three servants, bruised but not broken, made their way back to Chappaquiddick just in time for Sunday tea.

The end.


SERVANT. A person of either sex who is in the service of a master or mistress; one who is under obligation to work for the benefit of a superior and to obey his (or her) commands.
c. 1386 Chaucer.  Prol. 101. A YEMAN hadde he and servantz namo. At that tyme, for hym liste ride soo; Mod. English.  A YEOMAN had he at his side, No more servants, for he chose so to ride;

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