Monday, April 28, 2014

INTRODUCING GSR'S OWN KEGERATOR EXPRESS DELUXE. FREE SHIPPING AND NO TIPPING.

What was your bar tab last night? $100? $200? Wouldn't you like to save most of that money for a rainy day? A foggy day? An F-4 tornado day?
Well, by installing a GSR Kegerator Express Deluxe (it's a refrigerator, it's a keg/it's a keg, it's a refrigerator) in your home you can save all that money by simply staying put and downing all the beer you want right from your own keg. Why spend all that money on $4.00 tap beer at some sleazy roadhouse, looking at people that during the day you would run away from? Come on, why not be the master of your environment and drink to your heart's delight, all for a few dollars a day? With the Kegerator Express Deluxe you can take control of your finances, save those Lincolns and maybe even qualify for a credit card one day.

Take advantage of our 10th year anniversary hoedown. All kegerators come with a warranty good for the life of our great grandfather, Delwin. and, with our exclusive 60 day, no questions asked or answered warranty, you really won't know what hit you.
The GSR Kegerator makes
a wonderful addition to any
room of the house.

Here's what you get with every Kegerator Express Deluxe:
  • Detailed instructions on installation. Coming soon in Swedish!
  • Extra-wide diameter tap. Fill a 12 ounce glass in under 2 seconds.
  • All stainless steel parts. Guaranteed to be well under U.S. government guidelines for radioactivity.
  • Built-in safety features such as our no skid tap handle.
  • Non-drip spout. Prevents anyone from sucking on the tap rather than  using their Red Solo Cup.
  • New, sleek, compact design. Taking a plane to meet someone you met on Craig's List? The GSR Kegerator Express Deluxe will easily fit in the overhead compartment.
  • Instructions how to return your GSR Kegerator Express Deluxe should it break. Sorry, available only in Swedish.
Expensive you ask? Please, this is Goat Soup Radio. If you were to buy this anywhere else it could easily set you back hundreds, even thousands of dollars. But it's yours for the amazingly low, low price of  three easy payments of $19.95. And, if you act right now (and is there anyone out there that would?) we'll double your order. That's right. Two GSR Kegerator Express Deluxe units for the price of one! And that's not all. If you are the 4th caller to order (optimistic, we're not), we'll send you absolutely free an autographed selfie by Steve and Lee trying to find Lee's cell phone that he lost at Walmart last week.So hurry soon.

Won't someone get Verushka's
mom a cup?
Here's what owning a GSR Kegerator Express Deluxe will do for you:
  • Give you those sexy love handles you've always wanted.
  • Add inches to your biceps by carrying a new keg up to your apartment week after week
  • No more puking in the car! Just go out and buy a lot of that stain remover spray stuff for your carpet. Better yet, get rid of your carpet.
  • Never be carded again.
  • Never worry about "last call". 
  • Never fall off a bar stool again (at least, not in public).
Still not convinced? Try it for 60 days. If, after this time you haven't trashed your apartment, lost your dog and taken to wearing flip flops to work, we'll double you money back... just kidding.


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