Monday, February 17, 2014


Sports Obscura Magazine, a self published zine out of Scottsdale, Arizona first brought up the question during Superbowl halftime on its blog. Who is throwing for the Denver Broncos, Peyton Manning or his twin brother, quarterback Eli Manning of  the New York Giants? With scant followers (even less than Goat Soup) the question didn't seem to have any legs. However, once the game ended at 43-8 in favor of the Seattle Seahawks, Sports Obscura's veteran reporter Eddy Weddy sent the question to his brother, Teddy Weddy of WEBE Radio, Tampa. From there, questions began to be raised.

Did Eli take over for Peyton? Was Peyton ill or injured before kick-off? Was Peyton such a fan of Modern Family that he had to stay home that night and watch it? Could this be the reason for the lopsided score? Did NFL bigwigs and little toupees know this was going on? Is this the biggest kept secret since the United States traded Detroit and $27 billion for Montreal in 2013?

Only known close-up (without helmet)
 of "Peyton" during the game.

Goat Soup Radio, in another 4-H amateur livestock winning investigative report, has collected the facts. You decide:
  1. It is well known that Eli wears a size 8 hat while Peyton wears a size 7. Why did "Peyton" always have trouble taking off his helmet?
  2. Three days before, on Media Day, Peyton did say he felt a cold coming on. Why didn't "Peyton" sneeze even once during the Superbowl?
  3. During the game, why was Eli's wife, Tiger, biting her nails, just like she does at all of Eli's games with the Giants?
  4. During the third quarter, "Peyton" yelled at his left tackle Stanley Waskowski  for missing a block. However, he called him Lisa, the first name of the wife of the Giant's assistant travel director.
  5. Why were there so many New York and New Jersey fans in the stands?
  6. Right before the game, "Peyton" only hugged his wife, Quinn. No tongue action there, very strange.
  7. Why did "Peyton" run so quickly into the clubhouse after the game? And why was he looking so fresh and rested during the post game interview?
  8. The brothers' grandmother, MawMaw, usually very talkative to local reporters, hasn't been seen in public since before the game.
  9. Finally, in their official bios, both Eli and Peyton say that their favorite movie while growing up was The Parent Trap. Coincidence, conspiracy or barroom misunderstanding?

For the next 39 hours, GSR is asking you, the listening public to call in with your opinion:

Dial 849-403598  (849-PEYTON) if you think Peyton threw in Superbowl XXLJC or

Dial 849-839 (849-ELI) if you think Eli threw in Superbowl XXLJC or

Dial 849-7348594857118544280 (849-I'MSITTINGHERENAKED) if you think I am sitting here naked. 


Please Note:  All responses will be kept strictly confidential. GSR does acknowledge that former NSA contractor, Eric Snowden, pinko communist stooge that he is, did release some 10,000 pages of transcribed phone calls between GSR and The Sheikh of Araby. However, until we get enough frequent flier miles for a 10 day fun filled vacation to Cabo, Mexico, we're not talking.


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